(January 20-February 18)
While you’ve been fielding options for your next big move, remember that good opportunities are like the ice cream machine at McDonalds — you can never count on them at a certain time. And if it’s past 10 p.m., just forget it.
(February 19-March 20)
You’re always the one to assert yourself, Pisces, but you may be surprised how much you like taking the backseat every now and then – especially if you’re in an Uber and the driver has gum.
(March 21-April 21)
Lately you’ve been stuck in your head overanalyzing situations, which isn’t nearly as bad as getting stuck in a sinkhole, so quit your worrying.
(April 22-May 20)
You’re quick to cut ties when a relationship heads south. However, just because things are heading that direction doesn’t mean all is lost. You have to drive south to get to Rocky Point and that place is hella fun!
(May 21-June 21)
Navigating life is hard enough as it is; it’s time you re-evaluate your map and realign your direction. Yes, this is just our way of telling you to download the Google Maps app.
(June 22-July 22)
You know what’s worse than Cancer season? Skin cancer season. Don’t forget to lather up that sunscreen; the sun doesn’t care that it’s your birthday.
(July 23-August 22)
While you yearn for new connections, you’re unwilling to make the first move. Start small, Leo, and move up from there. Have you tried LinkedIn, perhaps?
(August 23- September 22)
Take advantage of the free time you have this summer and invest in a new hobby. Yoga? Break dancing? Professional Bitcoin selling? At least get some binge-watching in!
(September 23-October 22)
It’s hard to move forward when your feet are glued to the ground. Have you thought about taking your shoes off, Libra? Or at least investing in some flip-flops…
(October 23-November 21)
Take a leap of faith and your net will appear… unless you’re playing basketball, in which case you’re screwed because no amount of fluffy inspirational quotes will help you with your jump shot.
(November 22-December 21)
You’ve been sprinting all summer long, Sagittarius, and while your to-do list isn’t finished, don’t forget to pencil in some selfish time for yourself — be Sagi-self-care-ius, if you will.
(December 22-January 19)
While slaving away the summer isn’t the glamorous vacation you’d hoped for, now may be the perfect time to nab a summer job and save up some cash. Even Beyonce had to work for pay before she could slay.