The Silliest Workout Trends of 2014

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In a society that’s obsessed with being in shape and reaching some unattainable level of perfection, it’s no surprise that workout trends come and go. But from Crossfit blunders to the outdoor ElliptiGO, we can’t resist mocking the most ridiculous exercise trends. Although these very well may benefit your hot bod after the fact, the act of executing these ridiculous exercises in the moment won’t fire-up anyone’s libido.

Crossfit Fails

Truth be told, Crossfit people generally attain badass physiques over time, but let’s get real—there’s a reason these gyms don’t have mirrors. Who wants to look like a dork and have proof in the mirror? Ignorance is bliss!

Kipping Pull-Up: This is not a real pull-up. It’s one that requires swinging your body backward allowing enough momentum to hurl your top half into a pull-up position above the pull-up bar. Warning: you’ll look like a flailing fish out of water, but you know, feel the burn. Also, it’s dangerous.

Double Kettle Ball Snatch: This exercise takes thrust and drive. With kettle balls in hand, begin by swinging the balls through your legs and thrusting (or driving) your arms to an extended position above your head. Yeah, yeah, I’m sure this one builds strength, but I’m not sure when you thrust versus drive exactly because this exercise really just looks like an excuse to hump the air while throwing some heavy balls around. (Heh.)

Jerk: Must we say more? OK, while standing and resting a barbell with heavy weights on your chest, the goal is to spastically jerk from a standing with two feet, hip-width apart into a standing lunge position, where one foot shoots backward and the other foot remains in the same place. Oh, and don’t forget to heave the barbell above your head with outstretched arms at the same time. The result? You get the gist.

ElliptiGO

The name says it all: the ElliptiGO is an elliptical on the go, which means that there is such a thing as an elliptical that can be used outdoors… outside the gym. This machine is much like rollerblades in that it looks incredibly fun, but the nerd factor tops the charts because no one looks hip when rollerblading, and the same goes for this machine, too.

Admittedly, this outdoor elliptical would be a blast. Imagine no impact while taking in real outdoors scenery and still getting a workout? Screw the rep. We’re in!

Kangoo Jumps

These shoes are ridiculous looking. With claims that these are the world’s lowest impact shoes that can be worn when jumping, running and dancing, etc., they look like hockey skates without the blade. Instead, the shoes have an almond shaped, no-slip tread bouncy thing attached to the bottom so that when you wear them and move, it gives new meaning to “spring in your step.”

Pole Fitness

This workout trend basically teaches the average Joe or Jane to dance like a stripper sans the sleazy, gawking audience and low-light nightclub vibe. Swing, thrust and throw your body around the pole to master the dictionary of pole fitness moves. Oh, and don’t forget to bring itty-bitty workout clothes, because who doesn’t want to feel “sexy” when grinding up on a pole?

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