Since 1901, Sweethearts Conversation Hearts, created by the New England Confectionary Company, have made the Valentine’s Day season a little sweeter and sassier. If you weren’t giving the “HOT STUFF” piece to your second-grade crush during classroom Valentine exchange, then you were nabbing these from your grandma’s candy dish or swapping them out for the better seasonal candy options. While their cheeky messages have always been fun, there are some more realistic things we think these conversation hearts should be saying.
Because it’s always an awkward thing to actually say out loud…
10. DID WE MATCH ON TINDR?
Because it’s about time conversation hearts take on the online dating trend.
9. VOTE IN UR MIDTRM ELECTIONS
Because even though they’re in November, it’s never too early to start encouraging civic engagement.
8. FLW ME ON INSTA
Because no one actually relates to “FAX ME” anymore.
Because college student romance is bae giving you their notes when you miss lecture.
6. PUT UR PHONE AWY & STP TEXTIN, THIS IS A MOVIE THEATR
Because there’s no better way to approach this situation, so you might as well turn to a chalk-tasting candy.
5. GOT HAMILTON TIX?
Because getting tickets to its run at ASU Gammage was a joke and someone’s got to be getting rid of one somewhere…
4. VENMO ME
Because that’s what we’d all prefer a potential suitor to do anyway; let’s be real here.
3. IM GIVIN U THIS BC U HAVE BAD BREATH
Because what the recipient doesn’t know, won’t kill them.
2. LINKEDIN ME
Because if we’re going to use these candies to say things like “OOH LA LA,” helping people professionally network is the next obvious step.
1. U WISH THIS WAS CHOCOLATE
Because in a world of Reese’s hearts and Hershey’s Kisses, this is really what we’re all thinking when we eat these anyway.