With its tacky sparkly hearts and five-pound chocolate bars, Valentine’s Day creeps up every year, rearing its ugly head in grocery store aisles well before New Year’s Day has passed. While the holiday implies a societal pressure to be in a relationship each February, we’re here to convince you that going stag is just as cool. No, really!
11. PENNY PINCHER
The most practical reason to be single is saving money on dinner, a gift, a card and another card after you accidentally lose the first one.
10. BC SELENA GOMEZ IS…
While her ex enjoys married life, Selena Gomez seems to be doing just fine hanging with gal pal Taylor Swift, producing 13 Reasons Why and crafting hits. If she can do it, so can you!
9. FAMILY IS NO. 1 ANYWAY
You’re just focusing on your relationship with your family at the moment and your overusage of emojis in Tinder messages has nothing to do with why you’re single.
Who wants to spend currency on a holiday created by candy companies to push sugars to an increasingly unhealthy American population? Perhaps if you could trade and barter…
7. CANDY HAS NO REQUIREMENTS
Heart-shaped Reese’s are arguably the best part of V-Day and last time we checked, there was no purchase restriction dependent on relationship status. Why have a bae when you’ve got peanut butter?
6. THERE’S ALREADY A MOVIE FOR IT
Spoiler alert: It’s Love Actually in Pasadena. If you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it twice.
5. UNLIMITED POTENTIAL
If you’re ridin’ solo, you can audition for The Bachelor or go to the movies by yourself or go to a restaurant by yourself or watch TV by yourself… okay, we’re going to stop there.
4. RIDIN’ SOLO
You can listen to the underrated Jason Derulo classic and truly engross yourself in the lyrics without the guilt of having a significant other.
Valentine’s Day falls on a Thursday this year which is basically as bad as Halloween on a Monday; might as well skip and sleep till next year.
2. ACT OF PROTEST
In grade school, Valentine’s Day was centered around exchanging cards and decorating shoeboxes without any societal pressure. Why does this change when we get older? Remain single as a means of protest.
1. SOMEONE HAS TO BE
Just think, if everyone was in a relationship and going out to dinner on February 14, the local restaurant industry would be overwhelmed. Being single means good looking out.
Words by Carson Mlnarik.