(January 20-February 18)
Everybody wants a piece of you this week but be careful to not overcommit yourself. Make sure you take a day to nap, rest and focus on projects. Sleep misses you, boo boo.
(February 19-March 20)
Your big summer plans require major dough but you don’t have a lot of dollars in your pocket. Start looking for ways to make some money before summer rolls around: Clean out your closet, sell your books, turn your friend’s car into an Uber. Creativity is your strong suit.
(March 21-April 21)
You’re ready to post a selfie but find yourself lost in the people Instagram could turn you into. Stop playing with filters, Aries. Valencia? X-Pro? You know who you are inside. Snapchat dog face for life, yo.
(April 22-May 20)
A kid drops his ice cream cone and begins to cry. It starts to rain. That’s the way you feel this week but it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Suck it up and pick that scoop up off the floor, Taurus — don’t be that guy who wastes a scoop of Rocky Road.
(May 21-June 21)
Now’s the time to take some risks and really test the waters before summer arrives. No, really, test the water in your pool. It looks like the fish tank from Finding Nemo and pool party season is almost upon us.
(June 22-July 22)
It’s a time to reflect on your progress and goals for the past year. Just really sit and ruminate and think it all through. Let every single bad decision you’ve ever made haunt you all at once until you’re eating a block of cheese with a spoon at 4 a.m. Then get it together and just block it all out like the rest of us.
(July 23-August 22)
You’ve got a lot to do but don’t forget to celebrate the small milestones along the way. You found time to get Dunkin’ Donuts AND shower before class. You’re an inspiration to all.
(August 23- September 22)
A new internship, a new relationship, a job opportunity — you’re on the brink of something big and can’t wait to rush into it. Enjoy the process and slow down for a bit. It’s for the best. You’d be surprised how many glass doors you miss when you’re running.
(September 23-October 22)
Relationships are about give and take and you need to be careful to maintain balance in your life right now. Take three of your friend’s fries, give them a bite of your burger. Don’t let your stomach mess things up… again.
(October 23-November 21)
In a world of social media and online buzz, it’s hard to find something that feels authentic. Spend some time with a person who makes you feel like “you” or eat a really good sandwich from a Chicago-style deli. Italian beef works wonders for the soul.
(November 22-December 21)
This month is about refining your habits and setting yourself up for success… later. Like not right now but maybe in a little bit after some lunch and a nap and some TV.
(December 22-January 19)
You’re restless, Capricorn, itching to break free and see the world. Just kidding, you’re restful and haven’t left bed all weekend because of Netflix. Same difference when you think about it.