College Times

Remember Winchell's Donuts?

They were once a powerhouse in the round, hole-y pastry industry, rumblin' with the likes of Dunkin' Donuts in the Arizona market.

Perhaps it was the carb-killing health craze of the late 90's that drove them out of Arizona. Maybe it was the invasion of the now-defunct Krispy Kreme franchise. By the way, remember when people would actually get in line at sunrise to wait for those gooey Krispy Kremes? They were donuts. What an embarrassing time in American History.

Whatever the reason, the Winchell's Donuts Arizona dynasty collapsed, and they are now relegated to California and other western states.

But the memory of Winchell's lives on in the form of downtown Mesa's Vinchell's and downtown Phoenix's Wishell's - the result of name changes needed by the franchisees when Winchell's left the Arizona market. The names also made for some easy sign-switching.

Either way, I'm inspired.

I didn't major in business or finance, and I've never been one to make particularly sound financial decisions (I'm employed as a writer at College Times, after all), but I think I'll go ahead and capitalize on the sign-switching movement and start a few business ventures of my own.

This fall, keep an eye out for the soon-to-be hit NBC sitcom, WiSe-nfeld, featuring the up-and-coming stand-up comedian Gary Wisenfeld. Here's the kicker: it's a show about nothing!

I also predict a consumer-frenzy when I introduce the cellular phone/internet device/music player, the Appler SIck Phone. Not only does this Appler product utilize the ultra-hip, youthful adjective "sick", but every top-notch corporate legal team knows that it's completely different from any Apple product. Seriously!

Alvin Klein Jeans, swooping on the popularity of Alvin's designs, promise to be a powerhouse in the fashion market, as well as -Ike sneakers, especially the Air G-ordan brand-name. Gosh, Gordan sure can jump high.

Finally, I would personally like to invite all of you to continue enjoying my blog-writing services for the new alternative-college publication, Kn-ollege Times. I hear they pay writers $1.00 a word.

It has a super-catchy slogan, too: Knollege is power!

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