College Times

Issue date: 2/21/08 Section: Daily Buzz

Media Credit: Photos.com

I had this feeling when I was a kid that one day I would wake up and suddenly I would be in the land of adult life where everyone has the prefix Mr. or Mrs. in front of their names, and money, a husband and a family would be dropped off right at my door.

I remember actually seeing it as such a black and white thing, like one day I would be a kid and the next an adult. Man, was I wrong.

As I am rapidly approaching the age where my friends are settling down with full-time jobs and even families, I find myself re-evaluating what it is that I want, rather than what is just expected, and how I will achieve the life that will suit me best.

Since finishing my degree at ASU this past December, my feelings on these childhood dreams have begun to change, not necessarily for the worst but for the realistic. I don't mean to be a downer here, because I am actually pretty happy with my life, but I just think it's interesting how the realities of life can change the most innocent uninhibited dreams.

Here is a basic rundown of what my naive 10-year-old mind pictured for the future:

A degree (my parents pretty much began introducing this idea early on);

A husband (like Prince Charming or maybe Zack Morris from "Saved by the Bell");

A family (I loved all my baby dolls and never realized how much more work a real one would be);

A high-paying job that feels more like play than work (Isn't this still everyone's dream at any age?);

I would be either the princess or queen of some awesome Disney-like kingdom (Tell me that doesn't sound cool.).

So now as a degree-holding 24-year-old, I feel like the career thing should have fallen in my lap already, but as the days pass since my graduation, I am realizing that simply having that notarized piece of paper does not give you a golden ticket in life.

So how do you find something you love to do that also pays the bills each month? I recently was told by a friend who works full time for a well paying, benefits-included mortgage company that she could get me a job. The money part of it sounds great, but mortgages? Could I really do that for any extended period of time? I'm a writer and that's what I love to do, but as we were so annoyingly reminded by a guest speaker at convocation, journalism is a field you go in to for the love it and definitely not the money.

As far as marriage and a family go, my dreams are still really similar in the fact that I do want both - eventually. As you might remember from my ever dramatic CT dating column "Sexless in the City," my adventures in the land of romance are often times a miss. Recently, however I have found a really awesome guy who has a lot of the same long-term goals that I do. The beginning of the relationship came in the wake of my decision to stop looking for someone, go figure.

I guess I can't fully visualize where my life will go in the next five years at this pivotal point of existence, and maybe I should just stop trying to.

I think it's okay to be confused and unsure. I just somehow need to find a balance between making things happen and simply listening to the old saying "whatever will be will be." Until that trip to "adult land," I guess I'll just hold on for the ride and enjoy being lost somewhere in between.

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