College Times

Issue date: 2/7/08 Section: Daily Buzz

Media Credit: MCT

Withdrawal is a pain, plain and simple. Not only do you risk pregnancy, but it's ineffective.

Lucky us, getting lucky may just get a whole lot luckier sometime soon. From the country that invented the boomerang, Australian scientists are now attempting to bring us a radio-controlled contraceptive implant for men that will keep us reckless college kids boomin' and bangin' all night long. With the flick of a switch, scientists say men using this device can control the river of sperm that typically runs wild while having sex.

Still in the works, the device, or valve, "push-fits" comfortably inside the vas deferens - the duct that acts as an express train for the sperm. The implant gives men a hand-held way to decide whether or not they want to stop the transport of sperm by blocking the flow.

While reading the words, "implant", "device" and "penis" in the same paragraph is pretty damn scary, the procedure isn't as bad as it sounds. Okay, maybe it is, but the good news is there is no open surgery required - just the insertion of an 800 micron-long device by way of a hypodermic needle.

Founder Derek Abbott told NewScientist Tech, "It will be like turning a TV on with a remote control." But forget the needle, just keep telling yourself how cool it will be to add another remote control to your collection on top of the TV remote and Xbox control. We know how much you love those two.

Being that, for men, vasectomy is the only birth-control method available, compared to the long list of options for women (pills, shots, patches, sponges, etc.) and not including abstinence or paper-thin condoms, the device is ideal for those men looking to share the responsibility of ensuring they won't be a baby-they're-not-ready-for's daddy.

Don't get your hopes up too soon. Researchers haven't tested the divine device on humans, much less animals yet. They have only finished designing the valve.

One problem that may pose a major threat is the valve could become clogged with all that gunk, or what they scientifically refer to as protein, and cause the valve to shut indefinitely, thus forcing a man to be infertile.

"We would only propose the device to men who were thinking of having a full vasectomy anyway," Abbott tells NewScientist Tech. "But unlike in an actual vasectomy, he would have a 'grace period' where the procedure can easily be reversed."

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