College Times

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about three months now. He’s a wonderful guy in almost every way imaginable, but he’s incredibly incompetent sexually.

It’s like he lacks confidence or has no idea how the female body works. I hate to be shallow and I don’t want to leave him over sex, but I get jealous when I’m out with my friends and they brag about amazing sex. And, lately, at the bars, I’m starting to notice other guys a lot more frequently. I asked my friends what to do and they said dump him … but I’m not sure that’s the answer. What do you think?
– Seeking A Solution

While your girlfriends may be at the bar rating the force of their recent orgasms on the Richter scale and reporting numbers higher than the alcohol content in their piña coladas, ignore their advice to dump your seemingly boring bedmate and look to the bars for a better lay. The solution to this penetrating problem of yours cannot be found in the pants of a sleazy stranger, but rather between the bed sheets with your boyfriend. Sure, he may ride like the mechanical horse that costs a quarter in front of Wal-Mart and leave you in a foul 5-year-old fit of anger shrieking, “That’s it?!?!,” but what can you expect from a guy who has no idea how the female body works. You can’t exactly blame him, much less punish him for it.

Like your boyfriend, most guys leave girls feeling the same way you do after sex – frustrated and disappointed – and that’s because most girls fail to speak up about what feels good and what doesn’t and, perhaps worse, a good portion tend to mislead men with fake orgasms. Guys don’t come equipped with lady parts and odds are they slept through the portion of Sex-Ed class that was explaining them so it’s no surprise most guys don’t know what the hell they’re doing.

If you want better sex, SAS, then say something to your boyfriend. You know your body better than anyone else, which is why you need to tell him what you want, where you want it and how you want it. If you like to be spanked, then channel your inner Britney Spears and say, “Hit me baby one more time,” or if oral makes you orgasm, then introduce him to your clitoris, make them shake hands and hug. Sometimes words are not enough, though, and since the majority of men are more visual, you may find it easier to have a show-and-tell session with your man. “These are my breasts. They like to be kissed and fondled like this when I have sex. They’re favorite color is pink and when they grow up they want to be sucked on.” Get the picture?

If your boyfriend is the wonderful guy you say he is, then he’ll be happy to work with any instructions you give him and probably be very thankful. While teaching him how to get you hot and bothered may require more effort than you signed up for, it’s worth a shot, one I suggest you take.

Want Advice from CT sex writer Jessie Whitfield? Write her at jwhitfield@ecollegetimes.com

Article Tools