College Times

Issue date: 2/26/09 Section: Blogs

Media Credit: Photos.com

It happens to all of us; we’re inseparable with our buddies until love comes along. Then our attention does a 180, and he or she is now the main star of our daily life. It’s a tough one to manage because while your friends want you to be happy, they also want your attention. Unfortunately, in some cases, starting a new relationship can even mean ending one with friends if they can’t handle the change.

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, some of my friends had a hard time with it. Suddenly, all the time I was once spending with them was now consumed by my new beau. They would make comments like, “oh, you’re hanging out with him again?” or “all you do is spend time with him!” Even if that’s not 100 percent true, that’s often how it feels for them. My friends are very important to me and they should be for you, too, because while love may come and go, your friends are the ones you can always count on to be there.

A lot of time when you first fall for someone, you have these mushy love blinders on. You don’t always see how you might be dissing your friends. So, it’s important to make conscious decisions to include them in your life as much as possible. One thing I did was begin organizing a monthly girl’s night. This ensures that at least once a month my girlfriends and I will all get together to talk, trade clothes, drink or go out. These nights are really amazing, because they keep all of us close and give us something to look forward to each month. And, consequently, girl’s night also became guy’s night for my boyfriend and his friends, something they definitely need at least once a month, too.

Also, throughout the month, I try to include my friends in a lot of the things that my boyfriend and I do. I’ll invite them when we go out on the weekends or even if we’re just hanging out at the house.

Which brings me to another point – friends don’t want to hang out with you and your significant other if you two are just making out and rubbing up on each other like a couple of junior high kids the whole time. So try to restrain yourself and not exclude your friends when they’re around you and your partner, because no one wants to be the third wheel.

Hopefully, if everyone gets along, you’ll find that all of you can be friends and it doesn’t have to always be him or them. 

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